your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Mom said you looked used
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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