What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
