Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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