Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
