apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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