Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
