I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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