Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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