My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
