so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize