I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
