you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
