after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
