Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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