normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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