quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
