oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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