the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
