so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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