well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
