At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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