it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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