Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
