the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he told me I talked like a deaf person
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize