her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
