Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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