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WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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