dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
