____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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