loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
