We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
