butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
