If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
