Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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