i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
