Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
