New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No subtext here. People are naked.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize