i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
