Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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