My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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