Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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