i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
