Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
