I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
