I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
