clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
