At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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