the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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