I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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