After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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