I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
