I'm gonna have a badass scar
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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