Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
only you would photoshop your dick
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
