Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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