Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
