I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
