That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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