I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize