i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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