you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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