It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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