i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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