i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize