Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
