he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Enjoy the penises
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
