That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
