Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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