im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
